You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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