I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
