"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
