So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize