it wasn't lemon gatorade
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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