I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
