there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
