but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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