Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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