Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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