Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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