I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
