I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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