Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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