who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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