the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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