So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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