someone threw a dead crab at me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize