And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
well you can't waste a boner
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
