just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
