im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
