i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Randomize
