is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize