Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
