the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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