we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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