She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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