Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
