Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
