Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
