Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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