she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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