She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
