it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
