Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize