the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
