I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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