Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
