drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
