This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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