i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
