Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize