I wanna passion pit in your ass
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
