so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
