Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize