he wants to bone in the snuggie
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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