I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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