I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
