Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
