i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize