Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
