It's Friday. Sex?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
