I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize