The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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