Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
