do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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