I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize