does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
