Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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