This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
