..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
4 words: hood of his car
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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