It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just googled if crying burns calories
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
