You're my little dorito
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
false alarm. still invincible.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
