dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
