Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
