But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
