2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Drunk is not a location!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
