One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
