My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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