This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize