I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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