They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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