It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
