you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
