shes about as inviting as chlamydia
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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